2/27/06 -  Cinderella Man Takes Best Picture; Rent, Hostage Take Worst And Clown Film
Big Names Sweep Worst Acting Categories

I suppose it was a counterpoint to the cynicism of Hollywood this year that an uplifting and heart warming story of a man who over comes obstacles wins Best Picture.  Cinderella Man, Ron Howard's tale of a  pugilist down and out during the American Great Depression took home four awards, including Best Picture, Director, Editing and Best Supporting Actor. Hollywood obviously snubbed this film because the man character gives money BACK to the government after getting a much-needed hand out. Tim Robbins and Arec Bardwin and the rest of F.A.G. are still bewildered. They don't understand how anyone could possibly even imagine returning money to the government - unless of course, it was confiscated through more taxation. At any rate, Ron Howard went on to win his first Best Director in his second nomination. He was nominated for A Beautiful Mind only to lose to Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring. Paul Giamatti won the only acting Crown for the film. Renee Zellweger and Russell Crowe were both nominated, but perhaps CFA decided that two previous wards each for them was enough.

Two other movies won four awards as well. The "critically acclaimed but snubbed from the Oscar and CFA Best Pic category" Walk The Line won for Best Actor Joaquin Phoenix and Best Actress Reese Witherspoon, as well as Best Adapted Screenplay and Music Compilation. With three wins in major categories Walk the Line might be the front runner for O Movie Where Art Thou? next year. George Lucas saved some grace with Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith. The final Star Wars installment 'forced' its way to four wins, including Best Score for the legendary John Williams, Best Makeup, Visual Effects and Costume. But as Boss Goo once said about ROTS, "It's not that it was great but that it didn't suck as bad as the last two." Wise words indeed, but at least it had a bunch of cool light saber duels.

The apocalypse must be approaching because Woody Allen won BEST Original Screenplay. Yes, Clowntown has awarded the crazy little Jew for doing something GOOD. Shocking. But Match Point was undeniably good and even good enough to get the attention of CFA voters, in a bit of a upset over favorites Wedding Crashers and Cinderella Man. Rachel Weisz from The Constant Gardener won the other major award for Best Supporting Actress. Batman Begins won two awards - Best Art Direction and Best Sound.

5, 254, 345 clowns. 5, 254, 345 Clowntown awards. How do you measure the feats of a clown film? Well, by awarding it with Worst Picture and three Clownies. Rent was the big "winner" this year, despite being seen by ZERO Clowntown Voters. All you have to see are the previews and that is good enough to showcase what a piece of crap it was. Ironically, or perhaps fittingly, it won Worst Music and Script. Bruce Willis clowned his way to earn his  masterpiece Hostage to Clown Film of the Year while Stepen Chow kung-fu'ed all the way to Worst Director for Kung Fu Hustle. John Travolta returned to his uber-clown ways to take grab the award for Worst Actor and the prestigious Top Clown Award  as some jackass in the sequel to Get Shory, Be Cool. Rent and Be Cool were the only movies to win more than one Clownie. Big names dominated the acting categories. Besides Travolta, Willie Nelson, Tara Reid and Hanoi Jane Fonda all won their respective categories. Is Jane Fonda in the Hall of Clowns? And if not, why? For shame Clowntown.

Well that wraps a total crap year for movies in the year 2005. Here's hoping 2006 is better. Last year the early favorites for CFA Best Pic were Kingdom of Heaven and The New World. They did well, totally 16 nominations between them, but no wins and overall under whelmed the CFA voters. 2006 is looking at The Da Vinci Code and Apocalypto as the early candidates. The big questions for these films are: Can Ron Howard remove the cheese and clown from the popular novel and can Mel Gibson relax and let the movie develop without a heavy hand and 54 slow-motion shots within the first 15 minutes? We're also looking at a big year for The King of All Clowns, Nicolas Cage. He has three live action films out this year and we're hoping he pulls off the Clowntown hat trick. Then again, perhaps he and Oliver Stone can turn World Trade Center into a CFA contender. We shall see, yes, we shall see.... gollum.....